Friday, September 7, 2007

The Remember Whens

Tonight I've had my first "real" case of the Remember Whens...complete with misty eyes. Perhaps brought on by the rolling over (4 times this evening!!) and her skill in the Jolly Jumper, or how she seems to grow ever single day.
I remember when she was tiny and she'd have the most drunk, satisfied look on her face after feeding (can't find an exact picture but this might be close...from May 12th).I remember our first few weeks when nursing was painful and all I (and Ben) did was walk her all night (it seemed like all night) and then I'd pull the cradle out in the living room and sleep with her and feed her all day. I remember Ben feeding me while I fed her because that was the only time I could eat. I remember when pretty much all her clothes were huge and she was all skin and bones. I remember being so nervous when we left the hospital...would we break her? How do we know what we are doing?

And now...not to brag(or jinx myself)...but it's second nature. Thinking about her needs as much (or more...when did I last shower?) as my own is so natural.

I'm overjoyed with her and our life now but this fond-kind of sad-remembering is a new feeling. The bittersweetness that moms must feel with every new moment with their child...things are always changing and growing. The "letting go" is a part of parenthood that I don't think I ever understood till now. Her smiles and belly giggles and jumps big and little will always make me happy...I'm so glad and I love you sweetheart! (you too Ben)

(apologies for the sappy, tomorrow back to your regularly scheduled happy)


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